When the UK went into lockdown in March 2020, Duncan knew he had to protect himself. Two weeks before the rest of the country was asked to stay at home, he received a call from his team of nurses recommending that he shield. “I’d completed treatment for lymphoma a year earlier and it left me with a compromised immune system,” he says. “I was living with my parents in Cumbria, so we stayed in together.” By October, he had started a university course online and was venturing out for long walks in his spare time, but still being cautious. “I love bird-watching. I took lots of pictures and sometimes sent them to friends,” he says. One of his friends was sharing a student flat in Lancaster with a girl named Molly. “She suggested I send the pictures to Molly as she might like them. I jokingly asked if she was single and discovered she was.”
Around a week later, Duncan and Molly connected on Instagram. “I’d been told about him by my flatmate. I think she was secretly trying to set us up,” says Molly. They bonded over a shared love of David Attenborough documentaries and nature. A week later, they set up a short phone call and instantly hit it off. “I found him really interesting and easy to talk to,” she says. Meeting up was difficult as they lived so far apart, and there was no Covid testing available at the time.
Eventually, in November, they were able to go for a socially distanced walk. “We couldn’t hold hands or have any intimacy, which was hard, but I knew I wanted to be with her,” says Duncan. “I asked her to be my girlfriend within the first 100 metres of our walk.” Molly was nervous but “really happy … It was hard because I couldn’t even hug him, we had to be so careful.”
They continued their long-distance relationship online. “He would put on a suit and I’d wear a nice dress and we’d sit in our living rooms having dinner,” says Molly, laughing. In December, Molly received a negative Covid test and they were finally able to hug. “It was still outdoors but it was so great to be close,” says Duncan.
Soon after they met in person, the UK went into its third lockdown. Molly went home to live with her parents in Yorkshire and continued her studies online. Around that time, Duncan’s cancer symptoms returned. “I had some pressure in my neck and at first I thought I might have Covid,” he says. But tests revealed the lymphoma was back and he would need a new course of treatment. In March 2021, before he was due to begin chemotherapy, Molly went to stay with him and his family in Cumbria. “I told her I loved her there and then,” he says. “I also told her it was a lot to deal with, and I would understand if it was all too much.”
The next few months were a huge struggle for them both. Duncan’s treatment wasn’t successful, which meant another round of chemotherapy, alongside immunotherapy. “There were lots of ups and downs,” says Molly. “He had anaphylactic shock after one of the treatments and I didn’t hear from him for hours. The chemo became normal but at the same time it really wasn’t. I couldn’t go out much as it meant I couldn’t see him.”
As well as struggling with the side-effects of treatment, Duncan also found it difficult to be trapped indoors. “I was so jealous of other people my age going out. We wanted to be a normal 20-year-old couple,” he says.
Duncan got the all clear in the summer, but had to have a stem cell transplant and a final round of intense chemotherapy. Now that he’s in remission, Duncan will start university again in September, while Molly continues her studies. “We’re looking forward to doing normal things,” she says. “We have been to the cinema together for the first time and we want to go on holiday. It’s exciting to be able to make plans.”
Duncan describes his girlfriend as “a ray of sunshine … She’s been really strong. During the worst of what life could throw at me, Molly was there to make it bearable. She’s also passionate about nature, like me, and gorgeous.”
Molly loves that Duncan appreciates her for who she is. “He’s no nonsense and always stands up for himself,” says Molly. “We have been each other’s support system through this trauma and it has made us stronger. He never stops enjoying life.”
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