Coach Uncovers ​“Beautiful Game’s” Lessons

As a lifelong student of o jogo bonito and a decades-long fixture of New Haven Public Schools (NHPS) athletics, Wilbur Cross High School head soccer coach Edgar Miller has a lot to say.

About perseverance. About natural talent and hard work. And about how soccer can teach one to overcome adversity — whether that be the ruts of Rice Field or the challenges of being a teenager.

Miller has worked as a coach for the city’s public school district since 2000.

What was previously a part-time job turned into a full-time position seven years ago. 

I recently met up with Miller on Rice Field to talk all about his career as a NHPS coach, his lifelong love for soccer, and the many lessons to be learned from the fabled ​“beautiful game.”

Edgar, how did your soccer coaching career start?

Miller: I can say that my coaching career started with my son when he was six. He played in the New Haven Youth Soccer teams, and I coached there in the Recreational and Travel Leagues. By my 10th year doing that, we had three undefeated seasons. We were beating all the towns around here. 

But then, when it came to high school soccer, the soccer programs weren’t that good. So, the parents suggested to me that I try, and I applied for the high school coach position at Wilbur Cross, [which was] available at that time.

It was a matter of bringing high school kids together. It took a lot of hard work and knowledge of the game. But little by little, we were able to build up and move into a strong division with such big teams as Fairfield Prep and Xavier. 

About four or five years later, we started to win some games. Over the years, we’ve had more than 20 players who went on to play college soccer from our program. This year has been very successful for us. 

We played 10 games. We won six, tied three and lost one.

Very impressive! So, what is the secret of success?

One of the factors is collaboration with my current assistant coach. He has been with me for the past five years, and he is very good.

But the main secret is that we have a culture that is soccer-oriented. Our students love the game. When we bring them together, put them to conditioning and teach them to be a team, they do pretty good.

We have a very diverse team — kids from all over the world. From Europe, Africa… Many kids from South America — Argentina, Colombia, Ecuador, Mexico — all these countries are soccer countries, and kids from there come with a built-in culture of soccer. They have known it from a young age, they play it.

I am originally from South America — Guyana. And soccer is a big part of my culture too, I grew up with it. I, myself, played high school ball, and I played in a lot of clubs. I used to play with the kids myself until I hurt my knee two years ago.

This year we got a bunch of ​“veteran” guys. But last year, the team was young. It played a lot on a tough schedule. The kids did well, but they couldn’t get the wins. We would play the best teams right to the brink and just couldn’t do it. It was a big learning year for us. But this year they come back knowing that they are capable, they really learned from last year’s losses. Their level of confidence is different.

And there’s a real family scene. These kids, they really buy into it. As former military, I really believe in brotherhood, in looking out for each other. And it’s more than just the soccer pitch. In my world they call it ​“the beautiful game” – jogo bonito in Portuguese.

To me, soccer teaches you everything about life. When I talk to my students, I always tell them that I don’t have magic dust. I can’t sprinkle you and make you better. You have to show up and work very hard to get results. These kids seem to understand that. ​“The beautiful game” teaches you to be a team member who cooperates with teachers. The same principles are applied in school. Not too many things are just given to you. You work hard. That’s how you get ahead in life.

"Nothing Like Feeling Blessed"

What words of wisdom do you have for young teachers and coaches who have just started their careers?

Before you can reach your kids and have them do things, you have to build a relationship. You have to build a rapport with them. You need to understand that kids you are dealing with may not be polished, some of them might be rude and disrespectful in some ways, but if you could work with that and build a relationship, all that falls away. Kids will be willing to listen because you care, and if you show them that you care.

Kids are funny. God made them that way. I swear that they have a unique sense of understanding when you are authentic or not. If you are being real with them and authentic, they’ll listen to you and they’ll start believing in you.

I recall an incident here at school — there was a fight in the courtyard. I ran up to the situation and realized that I knew one of the kids. All I said was: ​“Hey!”. The kid looked up and saw me. He stopped fighting and went into explaining why he was fighting. I did not have to break up the fight. It seemed like because of our relationship he was able to stop right there. Just from me saying ​“hey”. That was pretty impactful on me.

I tell people all the time, this is my ​“adult” job. After decades working as a contractor [Edgar used to build decks and fix houses, working as a part-time coach at the same time], now I work in school full-time, and I tell people I chose to do this. I can make a lot more money doing the other things. But most of my life I worked to pay bills and stuff. This is the first job I chose, I wanted. I come to work every day. I don’t miss too many days. I feel very comfortable doing my job. And moreover — I feel blessed doing it. I think the kids give me that. I say my prayer every day, and I thank God for giving me the opportunity to do this.

I tell people that we all can find that one thing that we really like to do in life, and in the long run, money doesn’t even matter. Of course, I could always use more money. But nothing like feeling blessed.

Can you elaborate on what ​“soccer culture” means?

Culture is something you do year-round, not just when it is the soccer season. When you find other clubs to play for. When off-season two-three days a week you find a pickup game. When you tend to wear soccer clothes. Soccer culture is about your friends you hang out with.

It’s a very healthy culture. I am 58, but I can still run. And I’m pretty active. I never belonged to a gym. I always ate well and took care of my body because if you don’t, it would hinder you on the field. If you smoke and drink, you can’t play to your best.

Soccer culture keeps you in the circle of activity, competition, hard work, and self-discipline. It teaches you self-respect, and you start caring about yourself. The competitiveness of the game forces you to do that. And if you ever fall in love with this sport, it literally takes care of you.

"Challenging All The Trophies Ahead Of Us"

When you canvass kids to play soccer, what do you say? How do you attract them?

It’s a tough sport and not everybody can do it. You have to have some level of skill. In soccer we do everything with our feet. Most people are not used to that. It’s a difficult task to teach kids for whom soccer is not part of their culture. I’ve seen good athletes in other sports who struggled when they tried to play soccer.

Are you saying one must have a natural talent to play soccer?

To some level. But if you are a hard worker, you could learn. However, people with natural talent stand out. You can see them in the game. The ones that are really good and natural are different than the ones who work hard to get it.

How soon can you identify kids with soccer talent?

Right away, right away! Talented players have a natural ability to see the whole field, and they play at a different pace. Most guys panic when they get in the crowd, and when they get pressure on them… The guys that get it naturally, stay calm and play at a different pace. It’s a pleasure to watch them.

We don’t reject anyone who shows interest in soccer. Although we can take only 40 (20 on the varsity team, 20 on JV), we have close to 70 who are interested. That’s why we started a ​“developmental squad,” where kids are learning. They are not very skillful, some of them are not very physically fit. And in soccer, you must be physically fit. It’s a running game, there’s no time out, there’s just half time. You are running the entire time, and you definitely have to have some level of fitness.

The kids in the ​“developmental squad” are working on that. They get no uniforms; they just show up and practice.

Those kids touch my heart the most because they have no obligation to play, they are not in the team. But they show up every day and work hard. Their skill level is not that great, but they totally enjoy it. And I respect those kids to the max.

Do you ever include them in the team?

We had some guys from the ​“developmental squad” last year who are now playing in the JV team. They all get the same training. We are hoping that kids can transition from one team to the other smoothly. At Wilbur Cross we are one big family.

The other thing I tell kids about soccer is that if you come out here and play for an hour and a half, it’s an opportunity to de-stress. Because when you are playing soccer, you are not thinking about anything. You are just enjoying the game to the max for that time period. It’s just free flowing and you’re there. So, for our kids who deal with a lot of issues and a lot of stress, soccer is an opportunity to do something that could de-stress them for a couple of hours. It is an opportunity to take care of their bodies at the same time. And I think it’s a healthy thing.

Can you tell me more about the talented kids in soccer? How are they different?

Those are the special players. I, myself, played for many years, and I trained myself to be more visual and more cognizant of what is going on around me during the game. Because when the action is flying, it’s hard to see everything — you kind of get a tunnel vision sometimes. But good players can see everything. Something that others don’t see. And that is the advantage that changes everything. I do run into a few guys like that. We have one such kid right now. He is only a freshman, but he plays with such a calm, and it seems like he sees everything just naturally. I haven’t even really started training him, but his game is miles ahead of a lot of my seniors.

What other life lessons are your students learning by playing soccer?

As I mentioned, the basic one — you work hard to achieve some things in life. You also learn to deal with and overcome adversity. We are a minority team when we leave this town. There are not many teams like ours out there. We don’t get a lot of calls from the referees. We’ve learned to play through that. Instead of getting angry and upset and arguing with the referee, we learn to rise above that. When we lose games, do we take it as a loss and put our head down? No. We take it as a learning experience that we don’t have yet. And we call it results. Bad results that we are going to learn from to get better.

I assume you discuss the results of the game after the game?

Absolutely. We videotape and analyze every game in our Google classroom.

On a rainy day we meet on Zoom, watch the games together, and everyone can comment. That’s how we learn to get better. By the way, this is our motto this year: ​“How can we get better learning from adversity?”

We get better instead of letting adversity defeat us. One of my favorite stories from the past is when one year Notre Dame beat us twice. We played each team twice in the regular season, home and away. And they beat us both times. And we could have just accepted that this team could beat us. But in the first round of the playoffs, we ran into Notre Dame again and we beat them three to nothing.

It seems to me, this approach takes a lot of psychological strength.

That’s one of the things you learn from the game. This year we were telling our players that we have to be tougher as a team. What does it mean? No, you don’t have to be violent, vicious, mean, none of that. It’s just being more aggressive and more confident in what you do. And do it with purpose. Instead of being reactive, be proactive. When you are more confident, you can accomplish more. This is what the game is about. These are all life lessons.

Another thing I teach is to learn to sacrifice for your teammates. For people who you work with, for your family. I learned that from being in the military. That’s a big lesson in life when you learn that it’s not just about you. For most people it’s all about ​“what I can get out of this”. No. If you learn that you can do something for other people and feel good about that, it’s a valuable lesson.

I think these young boys get all of that from playing this game. The lessons that most people will learn at some point or another in their lives these kids learn in a smaller setting by playing soccer.

The other thing is the conditions that life puts you in. Look at our field [Rice Field], it’s the worst field. There’s no grass, we have to clean it of rocks… We call it ​“the pit”. But most of us, being from Third World countries, are used to ​“pits” like this. And the lesson here to learn is what’s in front of you, that’s what you work with. You start there. Of course, we would like to get a better field. But the reality is, this is what we have. And you got to learn to use what you have and try to make something of it.

Do you have any soccer role models — players, coaches?

Pele has been a great role model for me since I was a little kid. He came from poverty and won a lot of trophies. Among modern players, I like Lionel Messi from Argentina for his skill level. He is one of the best. As for coaching, I take my cues from different coaches. I like Bill Becher’s style. He is a no-nonsense guy who works hard. I like Phil Jackson. He won a lot of medals and trophies in basketball. As a coach, he was not: ​“I’m not a yelling, screaming coach.” I might yell and scream during the game too. 

In general, I tell my players a couple of things about my yelling and screaming. One, that you are young men, you are not babies anymore. Second, this is high school, and I am not your parent, I am your coach.

I want people who want to be here. When I was a kid playing this game, I would polish my shoes the night before. I was that excited. I want guys like that. I tell them: if you are going to be disruptive and you don’t want to listen, you can leave.

That’s it. I am not going to yell and scream at you, or make you run a hundred laps. No. I want guys who really want to be here. So, we don’t have too many discipline problems. We never had a fight between our players either. We respect each other.

Who are the main rivals for the Wilbur Cross soccer team?

The Fairfield Preps, Xavier, teams like Shelton, Guilford, Hand (Madison) — those are the top teams in the area. And we are ready to challenge them. Because we feel like we are ready for that. We are capable of playing on that level.

What do you consider most challenging in your work?

We are dealing with teenagers. We are teaching them discipline and responsibility. And it is challenging.

What are the plans for this school year?

Our plan is to keep going one game at a time. Work hard in between for the next game ahead. Get better every day. Our goal this year is to try to get into the SCC tournament, win that if we can, and then get into States, win that if we can.

We are challenging all the trophies ahead of us. We want to challenge the top teams and beat them. I am confident we can do it. I think the boys have bought into that and they’re starting to feel that confidence too. The last couple of games they played show that confidence and desire to get better.

Edgar, thank you very much for your time and for the insights into your coaching profession. I wish you a good, successful year!

This article was originally published on the New Haven Public Schools website here.