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Most courts require mediation in almost all family law cases before the case goes to trial. Some courts require the case go to mediation before the case can even be set for trial.
Rather than viewing mediation as a “box to be checked” or a “task to be done,” go into mediation with the determination to make the most of the opportunity to reach a settlement you can live with.
Knowing what to expect helps you make the most of your mediation.
The client’s preparation for mediation is to make a list of your goals and maintain a willingness to be flexible in attaining those goals. If your attorney asks you to bring other things to mediation, follow your attorney’s instructions. One example is a list of the items you want out of the house.
The mediator will place you and your lawyer in one conference room and your spouse and their lawyer in another conference room. Many mediations are conducted on Zoom now, but the process is the same: you are separated without any direct interaction with the other party. In a family law mediation, there is usually no opportunity for direct confrontation between the parties, so it’s easier to stay calm and focused on reaching a settlement that works for you. Even if the mediation is in person, you will likely only see your soon-to-be ex or their lawyer in the hallway on the way to the restroom. If mediation is on Zoom, you will not see the other side at all during the entire mediation. Instead, the mediator will take offers back and forth between the two sides of the case until a settlement is reached. Zoom mediation allows you to mediate from the comfort of your own home. You can have your comfort foods and snacks available. And when the process is done, you are already home.
During mediation, you will work with your lawyer to clearly explain your position to a mediator. The mediator will listen closely to both sides and ask questions to determine the needs and wants of each person and what the top priorities are for each of you. Then the mediator will bring offers back and forth, giving you time to discuss all points with your lawyer at each stage along the way. You need to listen carefully each time the mediator brings an offer to you. Likewise, you need to listen carefully to the offer you and your lawyer are sending back to the other side with the mediator. Be sure you understand what is going on at each step of the process. If you do not like a suggested counteroffer, speak up. Don’t wait until just before the agreement is finalized to object to something that everyone else thought had become a part of the accepted negotiated agreement several hours before.
Mediation can also save you money
during what often becomes a costly process.
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